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Monday, November 17, 2008

"Time Flies"

After meeting this young couple, time started fly even faster. It got cold really fast, and winter made itself present by all the snow. Christmas went past, and I grew. I was hardly even showing until I was about 6 1/2 months or 7 months along. I had completely changed my group of friends and my personality. Every morning on the bus, Casey would save a spot for me by him, and if someone was sitting by him, I would move up by Kyle. I had few friends, but they were enough for me.

One day in mid-January, I was at work and had just had a hormonal day I guess you would call it. I was tired, and sore, sick of working, and sore. He was growing all in front of me, and I was carrying him low. With all the storms he seemed to get lower and lower, and move further and further out in front. I came to work onery and snapped and barked at everyone. Cindy told me to go sit in her office until I could calm down. I was so emotional.

Why now? It's been seven months. Why? I had everything figured out.

A few weeks later Pres. Hinkley passed away and that night I lost all hope of being able to do what I had planned. I posted about this about a month ago. Here is a link to that post.

I will post about the actual hospital stay and the placement.

3 comments:

Desi said...

I am in awe of your willingness to share your story. I placed my son 18 years ago and as of yet have never been able to share all of my thoughts and feelings and emotions. It's something that I've thought about doing for a long time and reading your story may just give me the little push to go ahead and do it.

This is a link to the one and only time that I've ever openly shared about being a first mother: http://deejaya.blogspot.com/2008/06/coming-out-of-closet.html

Thank you again for sharing.

Holly said...

Look at the other girls you are helping Shanna! This is really so neat. I don't think any of us realize how many people we can touch if we just be ourselves.

Gramma Spot10 said...

You're doing an amazing job at telling your story. Sometimes it all seems like a foggy dream to me. I'm proud of you and love you.