"Decisions Decisons"

So there I was with a piece of paper, asked to write down what I wanted in a parent for my child.
Hmmm...what do I want? Well, anything but me. Active, outdoor type, easy going, good natured, happy, like animals, financial stable, preferably a stay at home mom.
"What kind of things do you want your child doing as he gets older?"
Maybe rodeo or other sports, spending lots of time with his family.
"Do you care if they have kids?"
Well, no not really. 0-2, I guess. Closer to 1 or none though.
Next came the paper work about me, and the "birth father". Medical records (both mine, his, and our families), Appearance (both mine, his, and our families), Career/Education (mine, his, and our families), Habits/Past Use *drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc.* (mine, his, and our families), and Emotional History (mine, his, and our families). Does anyone see the problem with some of this. I could tell about his Appearance, some of his medical records, his education, and his habits/past use, but only some of all of this. I was proud and scared, so I didn't dare try to contact him. I did get some information from his mother but not a lot. This little survey list thingy made me feel weird. I was showing all of my own personal information to someone I barely knew.
Will anyone actually want to adopt my child if they know I have had depression? Will they want him after they know it's likely he'll be color blind? Ugh there are so many things on here that just don't look good.
The next week they had me a stack of profiles of couples looking to adopt. As I start to look through them, I become frustrated How am I supposed to choose one. Come on. My mom and sister stand near me, looking through the stack also.
"They look nice."
"Oh look at this one..."
Maybe I'm not supposed to do this. Don't they say that if your faced with confusion sometimes that is the answer to your prayers?
I prayed alot through the few weeks, but still couldn't quite choose one profile. It came down to two couples. Both were young and looked awesome, but something about the one just kept jumping out to me. The little girl in the pictures with the big blue eyes. She was gorgeous, and they looked wonderful. But I am a complex person and didn't take anything as a sign. Finally one day while going to meet with my case worker I prayed and said, "Please, make it obvious to me which couple I am supposed to choose. If not then help me feel comforted by keeping this little guy. I can't deal with this anymore."
The entire hour drive the one profile with the little girl kept sliding out of the stack of the other profiles. None of the other profiles moved, but that one kept sliding away from the bunch.
"Ok, Lord, I get it. Thank you."