February 1

A year ago today Braxton was born! He is such a wonderful little boy. Yesterday I was able to see him and I'm amazed at how much he has changed. Once I get the pictures from yesterday put on the computer I will post a recent one just to let everyone see the difference. His hair went from really dark to really blonde. He is trying to walk and its so cute to watch him. He still has just a wimper of a cry, not much different from when he was born. His giggle is so cute.

It's been a hard day and I'm sure Tuesday (a year from when I placed him) will be hard also but I absolutely love this little boy and I love his family. They are deffinantly a part of our family forever. Braxton and his big sister look so much alike and that is only a different confirmation that they were meant to be family. I love Braxton and always will.

Today has been hard but interesting. I had to substitute in the primary today and one little girl (who also happens to be my neighbor in Laketown and was always asking questions about Braxton) stood up to give her little talk during sharing time. The talk (ironically) was about a couple that adopted a baby and the bonds of family. Of course I cried, but it got me thinking about my memories and feelings about my experience. During sacrament meeting I bore my testimony about the love of our Lord and Savior. I was shaking and crying and scared, and I don't really know what I said but I absolutely know that this experience was worth it and I would never consider changing a thing.

And I love this song. It's on my playlist.

You're Gonna Be (Always Loved By Me) - Reba McEntire

Six pounds and nine ounces lookin' up at me
Like I have all the answers
I hope I have the ones you need
I've never really done this, now I know what scared is

Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong
Other times I'll let you just find out on your own
But that's when you'll be growin'
And the whole time I'll be knowin

You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair but if you hang in there
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees but always loved by me
You're gonna be

I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes
Lord knows I'll be trying to give you what it takes
What it takes to know the difference
Between getting by and livin'

‘Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way
Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make
So make sure you're always givin'
Way more than you're takin'

You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair but if you hang in there
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees but always loved by me
You're gonna be

Someone's everything, you're gonna see
Just what you are to me

You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees but always loved by me
You're gonna be
Always loved by me

Another song (which is also on my playlist) is Your Gaurdian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. This song means alot to me because every time I was having a rough day while I was pregnant, especially after I decided to place, I would sing this song (yes literally sing out loud) to my belly (Braxton) and some what myself.