Because It's Late

I said that I was going to post some random writings of mine. I was just going through my folder of poems I have written, and here is one that I wrote at the end of November.

I Love You So Much

Her heart is pounding in her chest
She can barely breath
This isn't how it was supposed to happen
This isn't what was meant to be
As she looks down at her shaking hands
She knows that now everything will change
She knows what she has to do
She's afraid to look at his face

It's just one more step outside the door
One more stride into adulthood
There are things that she'll never change
But deep inside she wishes she could

She takes his hand and whispers
"It's time, we need to talk,"
And as her words spill from her mouth
His eyes beg her to stop
He shakes his head, and pulls away from her
He walks out of the room
The truth has finally hit her
She will have to do this alone

It's just one more step outside the door
One more stride into adulthood
There are things that she'll never change
But deep inside she wishes she could

The months go by, the weight gets heavier
She's never felt more alone
How is it even possible for her
To raise a child in an empty home
She makes a phone call, has a meeting
This young couple seems so great
She prays that she is making the right decision
"Lord, help me before it's too late."

It's just one more step outside the door
One more stride into adulthood
There are things that she'll never change
But deep inside she wishes she could

The pain is almost unbearable
It's been almost twelve hours now
Her hand grips that of her mother's
A soft cry fills the room
It's more beautiful than anything she's ever heard
The doctor places a small bundle in her arms
And she realizes what it was all worth

It's just one more step outside the door
One more stride into adulthood
There are things that she'll never change
But deep inside she wishes she could

The couple walks away now
Carrying the bundle in their arms
She waves goodbye, tears burn her cheeks
But she knows its all for the good
She knows that they will meet again
And she'll be able to repeat the words she just said
"I didn't do this because I didn't want you,
I did it because I love you so much it hurts."

It's just one more step outside the door
One more stride into adulthood
There are things people think she would change
But she knows that she never would.

Shanna Jo